Well, you just never know what some people will say in public. Hey, let’s take a listen together, shall we?

“….and until the trial, if they even see the car on campus, they can call the police. It’s like four weeks from now. I don’t own any, and I don’t carry it on me. No, I only smoke other people’s stuff, so I tried to tell the court that if it was in my car, it wasn’t mine. I’m taking three classes, and I have tests. It’s like they have it in for me, right?

No, it’s not a trial. It’s a hearing. No, like I said. I can’t be on campus until they figure out what to do with me, because if they see me, they’ll get the police to arrest me. It does feel like Nazi police, doesn’t it? I don’t think innocent until proven guilty means much anymore. I mean, what if someone planted the stuff? But, you know, what if someone did? You know me, dad. I’m not stupid with these things. I’m really, really careful.

I think they’re just getting paranoid trying to kiss-ass, like some soccer mom or hockey mom or whatever who has a hernia over the idea of a joint. They’re like the “thought police” in Orwell’s “1984”. I agree, dad. It is ironic. Here they jabber about my civil rights and go bananas over reading Orwell and Tolstoy and all these other people warning us about totalitarianism, stealing my rights, and then what do they do? Go and take my rights away over a nonviolent offense. It’s a big crock, don’t you think?

And to top it off, I can’t afford this suspension. I was looking at graduate schools the other day, and I just can’t have this on my resume. They are totally screwing me. I’ve gotten all A’s this semester, and because the loser cops who have nothing to do but find a natural plant in my car, I’m going to be screwed. It does suck, doesn’t it dad? Mom won’t even help. She says it’s my problem, and I have to deal with the consequences of my actions. I mean, what does that mean? It wasn’t even my stuff. How is that the consequence of my action when it was someone else who was dicking me over? I know, Mom is totally irrational. You should call her one day and set her straight. I think she’s against me because she knows you’re on my side here.

Yeah, I really don’t know who left the stuff in my car. I haven’t been able to figure it out. I know I wasn’t smoking when I was driving. You know I wouldn’t do something stupid like that. I mean, I didn’t smell any either. That would have been pretty obvious. Mom thinks someone is trying to screw me over, but that is so stupid. She just thinks anyone who smokes pot is deviant. It probably was an accident, right? I remember how you told me how you dropped a joint in church that one time. So it wasn’t like you were trying to screw anyone then, right? She always assumes the worst. I think I’m beginning to see why you guys split up. She drives me up the wall, and I never banged her like you.

Speaking of, how’s Julia? She texted me the other day. She’s graduating soon? Man, I know how hard it is to get a job, too. I’d better be able to get to my classes, or else I’ll be screwed up too. It’s making me so nervous I can’t concentrate. How’s putting me through all this hassle supposed to make me a better student? I don’t get it. It wasn’t even my stuff. The system is so screwed up. Convict me over an organic plant, but let some extortionist who ripped off old people get off scot-free because he handed over some paperwork on someone else. Know anyone I can hand in, dad? I could use some paperwork to save my ass.

It’s good talking to you too, dad. I’ll let you know what’s going on with the Nazi police thing they’re putting me through. Say hi to Julia. I’ll always love you, too.”

Well, enough of that little diatribe, I think. Say! The bus is here. Time to leave this soap opera, and move on, what do you think?