Sometimes the dark side of the soul, so to speak, rears itself up in the guise of indifference. When one is in that mode, it's hard to care much about what other people think or feel, or worry what one is supposed to be doing. It is as though a veil has been blocked over the eyes and has prevented the soul from feeling at all. If one cares too much about what others think in the ordinary scheme of things, in the times of indifference, is the soul is forced to compensate? Many people are brought up without question to be worried about everyone else but themselves. They are led to believe that they are responsible for everything and everyone, and to worry about themselves is selfish. So they don't, their own needs buried underneath a sea of busyness and responsibility.
But sometimes this burden can't be carried anymore. Grief is one way this state can come about you; like a weight that can't be dieted away and always chooses to remain. Joy itself seems insipid, as though if one is joyful, I will suddenly be assigned to become the pied piper that will lead the masses out of their misery. Once again one is responsible for all those around him. Indifference insulates against the expectations of others, and one retreats to his own mind, maybe a rarity in this culture that leaves you too busy to think for yourself. Even when a society disclaims wholeness, the soul finds ways of reclaiming itself.
This retraction is sometimes needed. Service to others is generally touted as being the big panacea to release oneself from inner bondage. You hear it so much that there seems that there is some conspiracy, right-wing, left-wing, or otherwise, to pawn off dirty jobs that someone's gotta do but no one wanna do. Sometimes, instead of trying to mask the darkness or pain with a Florence Nightingale makeover, a little myopia is good for the soul. Maybe indifference is a signal that the soul has dried up and needs recharging. Service used elevate oneself when already on an empty tank seems like a strange concept. When one is empty, many times a soul grasps to others to fill it. Doing for others when in this barren states just leaves the recipients with a huge bill that they never can pay, because the expectations on them were way to high.
Altruism needs to come from a place of strength, not weakness. It needs to come from a place when one doesn't expect others to fill them. Perhaps indifference is just the way of the soul asking for a coffee break in the workday called life. When one is full and realizes that peace comes from within, then it can extend this strength to others in the world.
