![\"Fifty](\"https:\/\/jkuzmier.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/fifty-shades.jpg\" "\\"Fifty")
<\/a> <\/div>\n\tMy dear readers, picture if you will, a rather grey misty day. The sun tries to peek out from behind the clouds. But alas, it fails miserably. <\/p>\n
Typical, though, as this kind of day is for those who live here, many brave the elements by sitting outside at cafes, sipping lattes, cappuccinos, and green tea. They are texting, typing, and reading e-books. Occasionally, there is a person talking on a phone, or even more infrequently, talking to someone at the table with them.<\/p>\n
\tGinger is sitting at one such caf\u00e9 table, texting someone. A cappuccino is at her side. Katy approaches from a distance, wearing a ponytail while carrying a book and a latte. She bumps into tables as she makes her way to Ginger, spilling her drink as she goes. She mumbles sorry to them, blushing and biting her lower lip, but they mostly ignore her. She drops the book, then retrieves it hastily. Ginger finishes texting, saying to whomever she\u2019s texting that the klutz is on the way and she has to go. Still biting her lower lip, Katy reaches the table, and Ginger stands up, giving her a wide smile. Katy is shorter than Ginger, so she peeks up at Ginger when she reaches her. Ginger cocks her head to one side as she does.<\/p>\n
\tGinger: Hey there, you!<\/p>\n
\tKaty: Hi, Ginger.<\/p>\n
\tThey hug. Katy bumps into a chair as she breaks the embrace and blushes before sitting down. Ginger gracefully slips into the chair she just occupied. Ginger appears to ignore Katy\u2019s clumsy mishaps. But she doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
\tGinger: So, did you finish Fifty Shades of Grey yet?<\/p>\n
\tKaty flushes crimson.<\/p>\n
\tKaty: I just finished reading it. <\/p>\n
\tKaty drops the book on floor before placing it on the table, biting her lip and smiling. Ginger sighs deeply, but smiles again before Katy seems to notice.<\/p>\n
\tGinger: Finally! Took you long enough to finally catch up with the rest of us! <\/p>\n
\tKaty blushes, but Ginger doesn\u2019t seem to notice. But she probably does.<\/p>\n
\tGinger: So, what did you think? Was it not totally awesome?<\/p>\n
\tKaty rolls her eyes.<\/p>\n
\tKaty: Oh my God. It was something else. Holy crap! You were right! I can\u2019t believe how much…<\/p>\n
\tShe flushes and blushes and whispers.<\/p>\n
\tKaty: Sex….<\/p>\n
\tKaty now speaks in a normal tone again.<\/p>\n
\tKaty: Richard and me are having now because of it.<\/p>\n
\tGinger raises her eyebrows and speaks animatedly. <\/p>\n
\tGinger: I told you! Isn\u2019t that book so freaking hot? So what happened? Did you finally get the guts to tell Richard your G-spot isn\u2019t found by rubbing his royal magic genie dick on your bosom?<\/p>\n
\tKaty bites her lower lip, rolls her eyes, and turns crimson.<\/p>\n
\tKaty: You\u2019re terrible! But seriously. I don\u2019t know what it is! It\u2019s like something just turned on, out of nowhere. Like a light switch.<\/p>\n
\tGinger lays her hand on Katy\u2019s shoulder, and cocks her head to one side.<\/p>\n
\tGinger: It\u2019s called sexual desire, hon. That is what being turned on is.<\/p>\n
\tKaty gasps, rolls her eyes, and turns scarlet.<\/p>\n
\tKaty: I know what sexual desire is, Ginger! Jeez, I\u2019m not that inexperienced!<\/p>\n
\tGinger pats her arm.<\/p>\n
\tGinger: Yes you are. Fifteen years with only one guy, and in your mid thirties? You are that inexperienced, hon. It\u2019s okay, though. It\u2019s what makes you sweet.<\/p>\n
\tKaty bites her lower lip yet again, and flushes.<\/p>\n
\tKaty: Jeez, you\u2019re something else, Ginger.<\/p>\n
\tGinger cocks her head to one side, grins, as she speaks in a fake British accent. Or an attempt at one. Maybe she just got something stuck in her throat.<\/p>\n
\tGinger: I try hon, I try.<\/p>\n
\tKaty grins back, purses her lips, and speaks in a whisper.<\/p>\n
\tKaty: But seriously. After reading the book, it\u2019s not even like I had to say anything to him, but things changed anyway. I mean, you know how Richard is and all, with him so busy at work.<\/p>\n
\tGinger smirks.<\/p>\n
\tGinger: Oh, I know. He\u2019s usually a selfish dick in bed. You\u2019re just there for the ride, I know. <\/p>\n
\tKaty gasps and blushes scarlet.<\/p>\n
\tKaty: Jeez, you\u2019re so bad, Ginger! Crap, Richard isn\u2019t that bad!<\/p>\n
\tGinger grins.<\/p>\n
\tGinger: That\u2019s because you were a twenty one year old virgin when you met him. Just like Ana in the book, by the way. So you don\u2019t know good from bad. <\/p>\n
\tKaty peeks at Ginger, and rolls her eyes. Ginger continues.<\/p>\n
\tGinger: Like I said before, you\u2019re inexperienced and sometimes you need a little help from a friend like me, and sometimes, a little prop maybe….<\/p>\n
\tGinger winks at Katy, who responds by blushing again.<\/p>\n
\tGinger: But anyway. The book did what, now?<\/p>\n
\tKaty flushes, rolls her eyes, and murmurs.<\/p>\n
\tKaty: Jeez, that\u2019s the thing! Holy crap, I don\u2019t even know! All of the sudden, instead of Richard just..<\/p>\n
\tKaty now whispers the next sentence.<\/p>\n
\tKaty: ..doing it…<\/p>\n
\tKaty resumes normal tone.<\/p>\n
\tKaty:…with me, something changed. Like Richard became, I don\u2019t know, more attentive?<\/p>\n
\tGinger nods and purses her lips.<\/p>\n
\tGinger: See, that\u2019s good. You do seem like you have some kind of glow about you. Men know these things about women when it happens. <\/p>\n
\tShe pauses, and cocks her head to one side.<\/p>\n
\tGinger: Well, maybe not \u2018know\u2019. That\u2019s giving them too much intellectual credit, like they actually do think about women. It\u2019s more like… <\/p>\n
\tGinger cocks her head to the other side.<\/p>\n
\tGinger:…they smell it. You know, like dogs do.<\/p>\n
\tKaty flushes crimson and giggles.<\/p>\n
\tKaty: I think I know what you mean now!<\/p>\n
\tGinger grins.<\/p>\n
\tGinger: Well, don\u2019t stop there! You know there are two books more!<\/p>\n
\tKaty blushes, bangs her legs on the table so it moves, blushes again, then grins.<\/p>\n
\tKaty: Jeez, I can\u2019t wait!<\/p>\n
\tGinger: That\u2019s a good girl! <\/p>\n
\tShe pats Katy\u2019s hand. Katy smiles meekly, peeking at her and flushes.<\/p>\n
\tJust then, Olivia and Todd enter from the far left of caf\u00e9, approaching Ginger and Katy. Olivia and Todd walk next to each other. She\u2019s about six inches shorter than he is. Ginger rolls her eyes when she sees them approaching.<\/p>\n
\tGinger: Oh no. Olivia showed up with her master Todd. I can\u2019t believe she brought him. Again<\/em>.<\/p>\n \tKaty cranes her neck to see and almost knocks down Ginger\u2019s cappuccino. She doesn\u2019t notice this, or Ginger rolling her eyes. Turning back to Ginger, she purses her lips and sighs. <\/p>\n \tKaty: Oh, she\u2019s so lucky. He always comes with her.<\/p>\n \tGinger rolls her eyes.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Oh, believe me, I know. For three years in a row, from the day she shacked up with him. Can you believe she moved in with him after knowing him a month? And got married to him six months after that?<\/p>\n \tKaty bobs her head excitedly, and in doing so bumps into Ginger\u2019s cappuccino with her hand.<\/p>\n \tKaty: I know! They are so much in love! She\u2019s so lucky!<\/p>\n \tKaty tips her head, and sighs. She bumps her hand into Ginger\u2019s cappuccino again. It spills a little on the table near the book.<\/p>\n \tGinger moves her cappuccino and the book away from Katy.<\/p>\n \tGinger: That\u2019s not love, hon! That\u2019s dependency! That\u2019s why we never see them apart. It\u2019s sick, hon. Sick. <\/p>\n \tGinger places hand on Katy\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Don\u2019t let yourself get like that. You need space, like the way me and Miles have. Olivia\u2019s changed so much since school ended, it\u2019s sick. She thinks she\u2019s so feminist and that, but can\u2019t seem to walk out the door without her ball and chain.<\/p>\n \tKaty peeks down at the book.<\/p>\n \tKaty: Olivia read Fifty Shades, right?<\/p>\n \tGinger rolls her eyes.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Yeah, can you believe it? I actually got her to do something. I convinced her it was a social experiment. That got her. You know her, thinking that she is some kind of expert on what people do. But she can\u2019t leave her douchebag husband behind for five minutes, so what the hell does she know?<\/p>\n \tKaty purses her lips.<\/p>\n \tKaty: She didn\u2019t like it, right?<\/p>\n \tGinger rolls her eyes, yet again.<\/p>\n \tGinger: No. At least, that\u2019s what she said. But you know how it is. She thinks she\u2019s better and different from everyone else. If everyone likes something, she just says she hates it just to be different. She probably loved it and would have had an orgasm over it if she weren\u2019t so frigid. She probably wishes she had a guy like Christian Grey instead of Todd. She\u2019s probably never come without a vibrator. No, that\u2019s giving her too much credit. Probably not even then, either.<\/p>\n \tKaty gasps.<\/p>\n \tKaty: Jeez, you\u2019re so bad, Ginger! Be nice.<\/p>\n \tKaty taps Ginger lightly on her arm and almost spills her drink on Ginger in doing so.<\/p>\n \tGinger: When am I not? <\/p>\n \tGinger grins and winks at Katy. She then grabs hold of Katy\u2019s shoulder and whispers. <\/p>\n \tGinger: Be quiet. She\u2019s here.<\/p>\n \tOlivia and Todd approach the table, both with medium size coffees. Ginger gets up, and Olivia puts her coffee on table. Katy almost knocks it over when she swings herself over to look at Olivia and Todd, and peeks up to make sure no one noticed. They all did, but don\u2019t say anything. Katy sighs. Todd shakes his head and sips his coffee. Ginger embraces Olivia, tightly. She grins widely at her as she does so.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Oh hi, sweetie! So good to see you! <\/p>\n \tOlivia hugs back lightly, and pulls away first. Ginger blinks for a moment before turning to Todd.<\/p>\n \tGinger: And of course\u2026 you! What would an outing be without\u2026 you!<\/p>\n \tTodd: Hey you. Right back at you. <\/p>\n \tTodd nods at Ginger. She hugs him lightly. Todd aims his arm so his coffee doesn\u2019t spill as she does so. Olivia glances at the book on the table as she and Todd sit down.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: Is that Fifty Shades of Grey?<\/p>\n \tGinger: Uh-huh. Katy finally got around to finishing it. <\/p>\n \tShe nods towards Katy, who blushes. Todd winces.<\/p>\n \tTodd: You suckered Katy into reading that shit? Bad enough you convinced Olivia to read it and I had to hear about how shitty it was.<\/p>\n \tOlivia nods.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: I thought it sucked.<\/p>\n \tGinger pats Olivia\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n \tGinger: That\u2019s because you\u2019re not a romantic, hon. If you were, you\u2019d know how good this was.<\/p>\n \tOlivia winces.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: No, it wasn\u2019t. It was insultingly poor writing.<\/p>\n \tGinger gasps.<\/p>\n \tGinger: It was a finalist for best romance on one of those lists!<\/p>\n \tOlivia winces.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: So? Who cares what list it was on? It should have been on a shit list. The book sucked. I thought it was written by a five year old who never left the house. It was tedious and boring. She kept repeating the same things, over and over. Like rolling their eyes every two seconds, for one. Everyone was gasping even when they weren\u2019t having sex. Cocking their heads to one side, too. Why did the author keep repeating that? She have cock envy or something?<\/p>\n \tKaty flushes. Olivia continues. <\/p>\n \tOlivia: And the characters. Don\u2019t get me started on them. They were so, so underdeveloped, like cardboard stereotypical cutouts. Like, how realistic was it for Ana to be such a pristine never kissed virgin at twenty-one and get turned on by dreaming of her clit get whipped ten seconds into her first relationship? And then be into romantic literature and never even masturbated? Just so the author could shove the stereotype chaste little girl thing down everyone\u2019s throats and Grey could come off like some big romantic hero sweeping her off her feet? Come on! Really?! <\/p>\n \tKaty blushes crimson, Ginger rolls her eyes, and Olivia shakes her head. Olivia continues.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: It was like I was reading a screenplay for a really bad cable TV movie. I started to feel like I was a lousy character in a bad screenplay myself.<\/p>\n \tGinger gasps. <\/p>\n \tGinger: Sorry it isn\u2019t Shakespeare! You have to lighten up and live a little.<\/p>\n \tOlivia raises her eyebrows. <\/p>\n \tOlivia: By doing what? Reading literature by a juvenile and pretending I like it? No thanks. <\/p>\n \tOlivia and Todd drink from their coffees as she speaks. Katy does the same. Ginger, however, glances between the book and Olivia, back and forth, like she\u2019s nervous.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Oh, come on! It\u2019s not literature by a juvenile! It\u2019s five hundred pages long! I thought you liked books that go on forever, you goose! It\u2019s\u2013<\/p>\n \tTodd puts his coffee down and leans towards Ginger.<\/p>\n \tTodd: Excuse me. What did you call my wife?<\/p>\n \tGinger rolls her eyes.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Oh please. It\u2019s just a joke. Lighten up.<\/p>\n \tTodd raises his eyebrows.<\/p>\n \tTodd: Calling my wife a goose is a joke? I\u2019m not laughing. I don\u2019t see anyone else doing so either. <\/p>\n \tHe gestures around the table with his finger. No one is laughing, including Ginger. Olivia sips her coffee, looks at book with an expression that could be read as sardonic or bored, depending on your interpretation. Katy sips her coffee as well, but bites her lower lip. This could probably mean anything. Who knows.<\/p>\n \tGinger sighs and rolls her eyes. <\/p>\n \tGinger: Oh, stop it. We\u2019re discussing a book here. You know, reading? Something your wife likes doing?<\/p>\n \tTodd points at the book. <\/p>\n \tTodd: You call that piece of trash a book? Olivia kept reading it out loud to me. I think it was one of the most offensive things I\u2019d ever heard in print.<\/p>\n \tGinger gasps.<\/p>\n \tGinger: You\u2019re shitting me. A dude saying that? Please. I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve gotten off on worse in your time.<\/p>\n \tOlivia raises her eyebrows.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: Are you saying my husband is into sick kinds of porn?<\/p>\n \tGinger cocks her head to one side.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Oh please, Olivia. Don\u2019t be so naive! All men are into porn, sick or not. It\u2019s in their nature!<\/p>\n \tThere is silence as Olivia and Todd regard Ginger like she\u2019s a lunatic. Katy flushes, peeking up at the other three.<\/p>\n \tTodd: Where the hell you get your naive ideas? Women\u2019s magazines, \u2018The View\u2019, Oprah and Pinterest?<\/p>\n \tGinger blinks. Maybe she\u2019s attempting to flirt. Or maybe she has something stuck in her eyes. Who knows.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Don\u2019t be so embarrassed! We know you men need a little outlet. It\u2019s okay, you know. We understand. Don\u2019t we, girls? <\/p>\n \tGinger directs her attention to the other women, but they are looking at Todd, not her. He is staring down Ginger.<\/p>\n \tTodd: You don\u2019t get it, do you?<\/p>\n \tGinger seems confused.<\/p>\n \tGinger: What?<\/p>\n \tTodd: Why I find the book offensive. <\/p>\n \tGinger regains her pert stance by fluffing her hair and fluttering her eyes.<\/p>\n \tGinger: You don\u2019t like the truth in print, that\u2019s why. It\u2019s called projection.<\/p>\n \tTodd: No. I don\u2019t like how it portrays men. That in order for us to get off and be desirable, we have to exploit women for our own personal perversions. The romantic hero, if you event think you should call him that, is an abusive piece of shit looking for a loophole to legitimize domestic violence at best, and rape at worst.<\/p>\n \tGinger flutters eyes again. It must be a high pollen day or something.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Angry, aren\u2019t we? So like I said, projection. You don\u2019t like the truth, and that we\u2019re turning it back on you by playing the game like an equal.<\/p>\n \tOlivia shrugs her shoulders and shakes her head.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: What\u2019s up with you, anyway? Why are you reacting this way over a book? A crappy one at that. It really seems to rile you up.<\/p>\n \tGinger speaks slowly and loudly to Olivia, like Olivia\u2019s deaf.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Look hon. If your man can\u2019t take the truth from a chick, tell him to stop crashing the women\u2019s table all of the time and stay home in a man cave playing Plato.<\/p>\n \tOlivia rolls her eyes.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: Halo.<\/p>\n \tGinger appears confused.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Huh?<\/p>\n \tOlivia speaks slowly and loudly to Ginger, like Ginger\u2019s deaf.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: It\u2019s Halo. The video game? <\/p>\n \tGinger rolls her eyes.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Whatever. Halo, Plato, Play dough, they\u2019re all the same immature shit. You know what I mean! If he can\u2019t take the truth from me, let him play with little boys instead of real women, you know? Because I\u2019m going to tell it like it is!<\/p>\n \tOlivia shakes her head.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: Oh, Christ.<\/p>\n \tKaty starts playing with her napkin, ripping it up into little shreds, blushing from scarlet to crimson to fuchsia back to scarlet again. Everyone does their best to ignore her, as this is irritating an already tense situation.<\/p>\n \tTodd leans in, staring down Ginger. Her mouth is pressed into a hard line as he does so, and flushes fifty shades of crimson as he proceeds with his diatribe, as does Katy. Olivia just calmly sips her coffee, regarding Todd as he speaks.<\/p>\n \tTodd: Okay, Ginger. You want to play that game? Tell me this. Let\u2019s start with your profound premise. Guys all are into porn. Each and every one. We love seeing chicks we never met strip naked because we get off on fake tits, and making them act out our dreams because we can\u2019t deal with the likes of the lovely real thing like you. It\u2019s even better if those neckties which strangle us into roles to support said naked chicks tie them up to our beds, so those belts we\u2019re shackled with in the office can be used whip the hell out of them with it, just so we can finally jack off. It\u2019s ideal if we can find some bimbo ho to submit to it because she likes it in real life. But we\u2019ll settle for the film version of it because we\u2019re too wimpy to admit what we really want in bed, and most women are just so, so honorable that they never, never would want such a thing. So miserable assholes like us are just skanks who think nothing of our dicks and how we can soil lovely, lovely flower buds like you to satisfy our cocks. That\u2019s the great truth you want to believe, Ginger? Fine. So, answer me this. What do you call it when chicks like you get off on assholes like this Grey guy doing it with this fake chick in a book?<\/p>\n \tGinger flushes, her mouth still pressed into a hard line.<\/p>\n \tGinger: It\u2019s different.<\/p>\n \tTodd\u2019s mouth is pressed into a hard line also.<\/p>\n \tTodd: What\u2019s different?<\/p>\n \tGinger sits up straight, raises her eyebrows and voice. It\u2019s like Ginger got her groove back.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Erotic literature is different from porn. It\u2019s imaginary, and they don\u2019t have actresses being exploited by dirty old men. That\u2019s why it isn\u2019t the same.<\/p>\n \tOlivia sighs and rolls her eyes.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: Ginger, you do know they sign contracts and it\u2019s legal, right? If they\u2019re under eighteen, or they\u2019re coerced or trafficked, the producers and photographers go to jail.<\/p>\n \tGinger raises her eyebrows.<\/p>\n \tGinger: You\u2019re defending porn and you call yourself a feminist? And you say that you don\u2019t like this book? <\/p>\n \tKaty flushes scarlet, and begins ripping at her coffee cup now that she\u2019s run out of napkin. Todd smirks.<\/p>\n \tOlivia sighs.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: Nudity and porn all relative, for one. I\u2019ve seen plenty of so-called high end movies with mainstream actresses flashing their tits around, but that\u2019s supposedly okay and porn isn\u2019t? I do believe in contractual consent between adults.<\/p>\n \tGinger gasps and snaps back.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Porn\u2019s different. It\u2019s not the same.<\/p>\n \tTodd sings in a voice that you wouldn\u2019t ever want to hear on karaoke night the following attempt at verse.<\/p>\n \tTodd: Oh, for the chaste virginal glories of shit lit, clit lit and tit lit! Wherefore art thou, Romeo? My clit sobs without you! <\/p>\n \tHe plays fake violin as his encore. People at other tables stare at his antics for a moment, before resuming their personal universes almost instantaneously. Ginger glares at him, sighs, rolls her eyes. Katy gasps, flushing fifty shades of crimson.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: Ginger, it kind of is the same thing, porn and erotica. They live on the same side of the coin. It\u2019s not even on the opposite side of the same coin. They\u2019re both involving sexual fantasies that adults wish to indulge in with their free time. Some want their erotica in print, other on film. It is pretty much the same thing. Erotica is erotica.<\/p>\n \tGinger mutters the following.<\/p>\n \tGinger: And yet you still trash Fifty Shades. That sounds like hypocrisy to me.<\/p>\n \tOlivia sips her coffee before putting it down on the table.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: It isn\u2019t. Unlike Todd, I didn\u2019t find the book all that offensive. I do have different opinions from him, after all. We\u2019re married, not fused. I just found it boring and tedious. I don\u2019t like the book because I think it\u2019s written like complete shit. Ana sounds like a fake dork and Christian Grey sounds like some cardboard weirdo. Pressing his lip in a hard line all of the time? I don\u2019t know, was that supposed to be some foreshadow that his dick was getting hard and the belt was coming off? Like I said before, the piece of shit is repetitive, and everyone comes off like a cutout screenplay overview rather than a character. They said the same stupid crap over and over. Speaking of crap, how many times was Ana saying that? It was ridiculous to me. She was willing to say how she\u2019s fucking Christian using the real live expletive, but was too prissy to use the word shit on a regular basis? Crap this, double crap that, and triple crap that. And the stupid gestures everyone was making. Everyone\u2019s gasping, rolling their eyes, flushing and blushing. It sounded like people were having medical issues. I mean, was I supposed to be turned on by Ana biting her lip all of the time?<\/p>\n \tGinger rolls her eyes.<\/p>\n \tGinger: It\u2019s supposed to be endearing. Katy does it all of the time.<\/p>\n \tEveryone looks at Katy. Katy is biting her lip and stops when everyone is looking at her, and momentarily stops ripping her cup. They turn their attention away from her.<\/p>\n \tTodd speaks in an irritated voice.<\/p>\n \tTodd: Why the hell are chicks so into this shit, anyway? This Christian Grey asshole is an abusive douchebag. Why would you want to read about some chick getting tied up and whipped for kicks and a guy who gets his jollies off in some place called the Red Room of Pain, when if a guy in real life just calls you a bitch you want to kick his ass? What, it\u2019s just better if it happens to one of your \u2018sistahs\u2019 and not you? Is that it?<\/p>\n \tGinger flushes.<\/p>\n \tGinger: It\u2019s not really about that, you know. There are rules that they follow in that life.<\/p>\n \tTodd: Rules? Is that how you get around rationalizing abuse? And then chicks complain when we call them chicks. But some glamour boy tying and whipping them up in fantasy, that\u2019s okay? What happened to this \u2018no means no\u2019 shit?<\/p>\n \tGinger: It\u2019s very specific. He wrote up a contract. He had to follow it and she agreed to it. They had a safe word like \u2018no\u2019 and he had to comply to that. And there were all kinds of clauses and specific things he had to follow in the contract, or she could walk away. If it really was abuse, she couldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n \tTodd: Oh, that\u2019s so Christian <\/em>of him. And all of those rules were to his whipping benefit.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: And every time Ana did try to leave him, Christian stalked her. He wouldn\u2019t let her leave. Just the way it is when an abuser won\u2019t let a woman leave in real life. Christian manipulated her.<\/p>\n \tGinger gasps.<\/p>\n \tGinger: It\u2019s about seduction! Everyone gives up a little when they are seduced. That\u2019s what Ana did.<\/p>\n \tTodd stares down Ginger.<\/p>\n \tTodd: So what are you saying, deep inside, women want men to dominate them? That\u2019s the big payoff on this?<\/p>\n Ginger mutters.<\/p>\n \tGinger: You know, she does leave him in the end. She didn\u2019t sign the contract, and she didn\u2019t put up with shit.<\/p>\n \tTodd: Just getting her ass tied up and flogged while he\u2019s getting his jollies with his butt plugs. That\u2019s supposed to be a love story?<\/p>\n \tKaty gasps and turns crimson.<\/p>\n \tOlivia sips her coffee as she says the following.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: Not to mention, she gets back with him five minutes later in the next book.<\/p>\n \tGinger gasps while looking at Olivia.<\/p>\n \tGinger: I thought you wouldn\u2019t be caught dead reading the second book. That\u2019s what you told me.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: I wouldn\u2019t. And I didn\u2019t read it. I just looked at all the reviews. That\u2019s enough of a summary for me. She\u2019s idiotic enough to think she\u2019ll change him. What a great message for women who are in an abusive relationship, thinking they can make someone else change if they just shake their ass the right way.<\/p>\n \tGinger rolls her eyes.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Please. It\u2019s just fantasy.<\/p>\n \tTodd snorts.<\/p>\n \tTodd: Spare me.<\/p>\n \tThere is silence. Katy is biting her lip, and running out of paper to rip on her cup. Everyone stares at her vacantly.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: That\u2019s what I don\u2019t get at all with that story. Why was she getting into that shit, anyway? It wasn\u2019t like she was abused or anything in her past. Him, at least he was as he put it fifty shades of fucked up from his past. What was her excuse? It was like the author was saying if you’re a virgin, you’re too stupid and naive to recognize an asshole even if he tells you he is one. I just don’t get it. If I were a virgin holding out like Ana, I’d be insulted after reading that shit.<\/p>\n \tGinger raises her eyebrows.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Don\u2019t you remember how you were with your ex Caleb? Wouldn\u2019t you have done anything for him? Wasn\u2019t he your first love? That\u2019s what this was about. I thought you\u2019d see that way. Doing anything for your first love.<\/p>\n \tOlivia shrugs and sips her coffee.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: Yeah, but I didn\u2019t put up with any of the shit that she did. I kind of draw the line at being tied up. The only thing stupid thing I used to do is wait around half of my Friday nights hoping he\u2019d call. <\/p>\n \tGinger cocks her head to one side.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Just so you could get the high off the Friday nights he did. It is the same thing. It\u2019s the high of a sexual chase and thrill.<\/p>\n \tTodd raises his eyebrows. <\/p>\n \tTodd: Can\u2019t you just watch \u2018You Got Mail\u2019? That had some chasing around. And no one got tied up or abused and rationalized it as something else. Calling this piece of shit \u2018sexual chase and thrill\u2019 sounds like worshiping the Stockholm Syndrome.<\/p>\n \tGinger is confused.<\/p>\n \tGinger: The what?<\/p>\n \tOlivia speaks slowly, as though she is talking to a child.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: The Stockholm Syndrome. When a victim of a crime starts sympathizing with the attacker instead of seeing him as the creep he is? Sort of how Ana does with Christian?<\/p>\n \tGinger gasps. <\/p>\n \tGinger: It\u2019s just a book.<\/p>\n \tTodd: And soon it will be a film. An NC-17 one. With actresses exploited sexually for your enjoyment. Just like porn. Which by the way, NC-17 is a nice way saying it\u2019s porn but we won\u2019t say it\u2019s porn. You know, like in the wholesome classic \u201cShowgirls\u201d. Still think it\u2019s a good thing?<\/p>\n \tGinger rolls her eyes.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Oh come on. It\u2019s just entertainment.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: So\u2019s porn. Even the sadist type.<\/p>\n \tGinger rolls her eyes again. They must like traveling in circles<\/p>\n \tGinger: Please.<\/p>\n \tTodd leans towards Ginger while pointing at the author\u2019s name on the book, which to those uninformed of such matters, is a chick called EL James.<\/p>\n \tTodd: Ginger, look. Tell me this. If EL James was Edward Leon James, would you feel the same way about the book? Would it be okay for a dude to get his kicks writing about a chick getting tied up, chained and whipped by some asshole who was telling her that\u2019s romance, and that he to be this way because of his terrible past, while she has to change everything about herself to be with him if she wants him? Still think the book is a great panacea for women\u2019s sex life now?<\/p>\n \tGinger blinks.<\/p>\n \tGinger: That\u2019s the point, though. It isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n \tTodd: So sadism is okay as long as a woman writes it? Because I kind of remember that book \u2018American Psycho\u2019 having some tying up of chicks for kicks in it before the sexy dashing serial killer Patrick Bateman sliced them up and put them in the incinerator. Bateman had deep needs from his past that compelled him to do that, too. Just like totally \u201cfreaking hot\u201d Christian Grey. Bateman had rules that the women had to follow too. As long as they wound up dead by torture at his hands, everything was cool because he got his jollies off, just like \u201cfreaking hot\u201d Grey with his Red Room of Pain and butt plugs. But based on your logic, you\u2019re telling me that \u2018American Psycho\u2019 would be totally freaking hot and copasetic if Brittany Ellen Ellis wrote it rather than Bret Easton Ellis wrote it. Am I getting this logic straight?<\/p>\n \tThere is silence. Katy is gasping soundlessly and flushing. Ginger purses her lips, and Olivia sips her coffee. Everyone is staring at them, but they apparently don\u2019t care.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Christian Grey isn\u2019t a serial killer!<\/p>\n \tTodd raises his eyebrows.<\/p>\n \tTodd: He\u2019s well on his way to getting there, with his serial sadist sex life.<\/p>\n \tGinger mutters the next thing she says.<\/p>\n \tGinger: It\u2019s not the same.<\/p>\n \tTodd smirks.<\/p>\n \tTodd: Sure it isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n \tOlivia shrugs.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: I don\u2019t know. I just thought the book sucked. I\u2019ve read blogs that were better.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Oh please. You\u2019re just saying that because Todd doesn\u2019t like it and you never disagree with him.<\/p>\n \tThere is silence again. Olivia and Todd raise their eyebrows, staring at Ginger. Ginger flushes and sets her mouth into a hard line. Katy bites her lip. She flushes crimson and scarlet and back again.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: Wow. The real truth comes out.<\/p>\n \tTodd smirks: Hey, she always tells the truth. Right, Ginger?<\/p>\n \tGinger looks down.<\/p>\n \tGinger: Sorry.<\/p>\n \tOlivia grimaces.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: No, you\u2019re not. <\/p>\n \tShe turns to Todd.<\/p>\n \tOlivia: Let\u2019s go.<\/p>\n \tThey get up and leave. Ginger and Katy are biting their lips, looking at the book. Ginger notices this, and stops immediately. Katy is still looking at the book, biting her lip.<\/p>\n \tKaty: Jeez, I guess the book was triple crap, after all.<\/p>\n (Names may have been changed to protect the innocent, and not so innocent. Or maybe, they haven\u2019t. Maybe this is based on actual events. Or maybe they aren\u2019t. But whateve\u2019, who the hell cares? After all, nothing\u2019s absolute, dudes. Whether it\u2019s mommy porn or Plato, who needs their ethics in black and white when you can have fifty shades of relativism instead? What the triple crap\u2019s the diff\u2019?<\/em><\/strong>)<\/p>\n END<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My dear readers, picture if you will, a rather grey misty day. The sun tries to peek out from behind the clouds. But alas, it fails miserably.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"views":7647,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jkuzmier.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2213"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jkuzmier.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jkuzmier.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jkuzmier.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jkuzmier.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2213"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/jkuzmier.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2213\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2319,"href":"https:\/\/jkuzmier.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2213\/revisions\/2319"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jkuzmier.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2213"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jkuzmier.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2213"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jkuzmier.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2213"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}