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October 2006 - Article 1
What does it mean to go visit the house of God? Maybe it is a building, a place that is designated as a place of gathering for those who worship in a similar manner, and through that energy, sense the presence of God. Maybe it's a place to congregate with other people just to have fellowship. Perhaps it's a place where one makes promises and oaths to a deity, hoping that the sacred place can seal the oath for good, like the drunk who falls on his knees at the altar begging to get sober. More ominously, it can be a place where one can play religion by making a show of it, a behavior that many non-churchgoers cite as the hypocrisy of religion. Many times, it is assumed that the man or woman of hypocrisy is doing it knowingly, as a way of putting up a ruse to hide the fakery that the individual knows resides within. Or perhaps as a means of controlling things, putting up a show of religiosity through a flurry of organizational activity. Maybe it's the kind of person who knows what the scoop is on everyone and exactly how to fix them, everyone, that is, but himself or herself. Maybe the hypocrisy isn't so overt, yet comes through anyway: a person may be making grand promises to God in prayer, but somehow hasn't followed through. Even though he or she may seem perfectly nice on the outside, something doesn't quite fit. It may appear that the person is putting on a show of niceness that isn't real, but it's hard to pinpoint exactly where the person is going wrong. Only that it feels that way, and it seems more devious, in a way, than the one who is overtly showing off. But perhaps the hypocrite doesn't even know what's going wrong. The person may know something is wrong with the brand of religion that's shown, but what's going wrong? He's praying, constantly asking God for direction, ever on the lookout for another form of service. It says in the Bible that I should feed the hungry. So I do. The Koran says to give alms. So I do. The Hebrew Scriptures says to love my neighbor as myself. I do, at least I think I do. And yet God seems far away, and the peace of God ever elusive. What else can I do but make deals with God so this way I am accountable? What else can I do but make plans and dreams and go for them? God doesn't like idle hands, so I'll keep busy with work that seems to sound good. But yet, despite all this posturing, the whole thing is still one big miserable mess. All this can exist on a conscious level, but more often, since it's a discontent that doesn't sound too holy, is buried underground. It's a struggle that remains silent, but yet dominates all aspects of the so-called hypocrite, being a ubiquitous struggle. Hence, the judgmental attitude, because he judges himself. Hence, the sense of falseness despite the surface of goodness, because she swallows the struggle that she thinks she shouldn't have. And in the dark, promises and curses hurled at God, and a neverending stream of chatter looking for signs that will set things right for a situation that they are unaware of, hence no solution is ever found despite all the seeking. What if the whole problem simply is because the worshiper is doing all the talking, and is never quiet enough to really hear what God has to say to begin with? By coming up with a surface religiosity that never really stops to hear what God has to say, the so-called hypocrite thinks by furious activity he or she can hack a path to God through the brambles. In the meantime, God's voice is lost in the wind because the person was down below rooting out weeds that he thought important. Hence, without realizing it, in his chatter he has made himself God, which is why he seems like such a hypocrite to others. But since she's been trying so hard to reach God, she doesn't even see where she's gone wrong. So it's easy to blame others then. What else could be the problem? Even though this person's activity yields chaos for him and pain for others, the chaos of silence when this person walks into the house of God, wherever that may be, may be deafening. What made the person seem so false is that all the activity he engaged him cut him off from God, despite his words. In Ecclesiastes 5, the writer stresses the importance of drawing forth to hear rather than give rash promises. It is with this spirit of humility, in the silence, that one may hear God's voice and find true communion. In essence, the one who avoids God through good activity and behavior may actually afraid of meeting God, afraid of the chaos that he or she will meet in the silence where one stands alone in the face of the sacred. What demons will torture a person? And to enter a realm beyond the everyday, what does that mean for me, everyday life, my life? Better to invent a God in fruitful activity, even if it leads to a dead end every time. Better to pretend it won' t happen this time, like an alcoholic who thinks this time he can just take one. In the silence, a person may come to know the truth of himself or herself, which, if one is cut off from God through furious activity, may decide that the truth is too scary. After all, God helps them who helps themselves. That's got to account for something, right? One may never get around to asking the question at all, thinking the veneer of happy religion is truer than the fear underlying this question, thinking the fear itself is "sinful". But perhaps, if one ever breaks through the noise that he or she has gathered, this person will find that in the end, when one meets God in the silence, that God has been waiting all along. And for that, a person may find true peace, for God will lead all to the true joy that each one always wanted (Eccl. 5:20). |