In reading several accounts of loving yourself, and how to get real love and begin a life of happiness, I have concluded that what really needs to be done is self-acceptance before really you can determine how to save the world, before you can not worry and be happy, or even truly meditate effectively to find what the Great Universe has in store for you. Maybe today you feel lousy and don't feel like smiling at anyone. So don't, unless for eight hours you need to keep the job that pays your bills.

     Sometimes stretching yourself is too much work. Maybe this is a sign that you're tired. Sometimes the order to smile has the connotation that it is an instant happy pill that fixes everything. Helping others doesn't always get you "out of yourself", fix "moods", or the like. Sometimes it just increases stress. Sometimes smiling through pain only increases it because it acts as a kind of suppression.

     It might be true that a bad mood makes those around you feel worse, unless they are in such a state of enlightenment that they take nothing personally. Even these people have their weak moments. Be careful that your lousy mood doesn't make it worse for you and those around you. A bad mood isn't an excuse not to be empathetic to the needs of others; it's just that when you consider the feelings of people, you need to include yourself in that definition of "people". If you can, be honest with those around you about your dilemma, so at least they can know it's you and not them.

     But perhaps you are in a situation where that level of intimacy is inappropriate, such as with strangers, or a business situation, just breathe deeply, and be aware of the entire moment. Take in your feelings, as well as all that surrounds you. In becoming aware of the totality around you, at the very least you will recognize that other people suffer, just like you do. Everyone has it tough. Everyone has a bad day. By noting this universalism, you are less likely to take your bad mood out on other people, but you are not denying yourself your feelings either.

     Sometimes, I find pampering yourself in whatever idiosyncratic way you prefer is the best remedy. Save the Gandhi or Florence Nightingale routine for another day. As long as in the end, you are striving for growth, maybe just allowing yourself to feel lousy once in awhile can be another step in the process, promoting healthy self-acceptance. If you can't accept the fact that you feel lousy, how will you ever be able to accept the fact that the planet has lousy pockets all over the place? Or that your partner just doesn't feel like talking right now?

     Idealism has its place. Fighting injustice and striving for happiness is a good thing. But to expect one hundred percent effort at all times is inhuman and exhausting. Even Jesus retired to private places for rest, and I don't think He was in a great mood when He dealt with the money changers in the Temple. Again, it comes to accepting the humanity in yourself. No one's perfect. Not even you on a great hair day.

     The only reality is what is happening now. The best years are not your twenties, thirties, or the golden years. If today you are sixteen years old, seven months and three days, then the best time of your life is being sixteen years old, seven months and three days. If you are eighty years old, the same rule applies. This is the best time in your life because this is the one part that you can do something about. You can't do anything about five minutes ago, and you can't say with any surety that you'll even be here five minutes from now, let alone know what to do with it. If, at this moment, you are reading, this, this reading is your reality. When you do laundry, or commute, those things are your reality as you do them. There is no lesson except the one you choose to see in the moment. You have the option to refuse the lesson of staying in reality. Sometimes the lesson is accepting that this happens every so often.