June 2005

“THE ART OF LISTENING”

     Sometimes the art of listening is a difficult one to achieve, especially in a society that insists on rhetoric on every issue. A person who doesn't speak on an issue could be construed as letting evil rule, or is too afraid to let people know what he or she thinks. It is subtle peer pressure such as this that could lead one to think that silence is a vice, and only the gabby count in the world. If one is a female and silent, she is allowing an oppressive male culture to control her. If one is male and silent, he must have weakness of character to not talk. This judgment comes whether one the issue is racism or whether the Red Sox will win the World Series again this year.

     No question, this is a verbal society. In the United States especially, people are expected to talk much more than they are in more introverted societies such as Japan. One is expected to carry on his or her end of the conversation, no matter what the topic. News shows, radio programs, sitcoms and reality shows are filled with endless verbiage for ratings purposes; silence doesn't sell. The big problem with everyone talking all of the time, of course, is that people are speaking so much that no one is paying attention to what is being said. The pressure to be "social", by which the term means talkative and not necessarily empathetic, is too great to allow people the distance to really hear what is going on. Who hasn't impatiently waited for someone to shut up already so you could jut your thoughts in? Sadly enough, though, because people which to keep talking so much and no one wants to listen, the words fall on stony ground. This is because there is no good soil for them to take root. Most people are too busy talking to hear what is going on.

     Several years ago, a boy featured on Oprah Winfrey made a vow to not speak for a year. He felt that he wasn't listening to other people, and wanted to learn to hear the words of other people instead of focusing solely on his own. Modern society has gotten so accustomed to disseminating information that a drastic measure such as this was needed for this boy to cultivate his sense of listening. Many people who enter the cloistered life also reject secular life altogether so that they can hear what they believe is God's voice in silence. No question, it is difficult to listen when there is great pressure to get a word in edgewise.

     The right to speak freely is a cherished value in many republics. Human rights groups such as Amnesty International will fight for the right for all people to be able to speak. Having obtained that right, it is hard to know exactly how to balance this great attribute. Listening is one way that will enhance the right to free speech, because then in speaking, one feels the dignity of being listened to.