Article 1 - THE SEARCH FOR MEANING April 2006 edition of First Church of The Streets

     What is the meaning of all of this, of the world we live in? This is a question that has plagued philosophers for millennia. Even the Bible, with its emphasis on the personal God, asks the question. Throughout the Book of Ecclesiastes, the Preacher ponders this very question, hoping that Wisdom will lead him to the answers he seeks.

    It's evident from the first chapter of this book that the question "what is the meaning of all of this" strikes not only those frozen with fear, despair and inertia, but also those at their most productive. In the latter case, it's though no matter what one does, in the end, it's worth nothing. It's then that one realizes, no matter what a person does, accomplishments don't necessarily lead to greatness. Even plain old satisfaction is elusive. This scripture depicts this sentiment plainly.

    Many times, when people feel their lives need a jumpstart, it's common to set a goal to get something new done. It's the hope that by accomplishing something new, personal satisfaction will be achieved. But probably nearly everyone has heard of (or been) someone who achieved "everything", yet bottomed out with severe depression, alcoholism, or other self-destructive behaviors.

    What's the matter with these people? It seems as though when someone crashes after much success, it's something endemic within those individuals. Easy to think, it's something that those people are suffering with, and not something that you would ever suffer. After all, if despair after accomplishment has the potential to be universal, then anyone can fall prey to it. Then what's the purpose of embarking on any endeavor, if you'll never feel satisfied, no matter what you do? So, easier to write someone off as mentally ill, an ingrate, or somehow otherwise singularly defective. Then, the premise of pinning your hopes on some dream can still remain alive.

    But maybe it isn't all them. Perhaps what happened was that they realized, like the Preacher, that their accomplishments weren't the be-all and end-all. They are confronting full force the reality that there is more to life than external accomplishments. This is the tenor that Ecclesiastes 1 takes, the idea that "all is vanity" (Eccl. 1:2, NKJV). It's the epiphany that no matter what the accomplishment, in the end, it doesn't mean much. It's possible you'll go to the grave, and others will reap the fruits of your accomplishments. Yet maybe while you were alive, you were reviled for them. Even if you were praised, what will it mean to you when you're gone?

    If the Preacher was King Solomon as legend dictates, certainly this is a person who knew much about accomplishment. Yet he felt despair enough to write this scripture. In the end, the writer didn't find satisfaction in what he did with his life. It's as though once he accomplished one thing, he just wanted to do more, never satisfied or content in what he did (Eccl. 1:8). After experiencing this for awhile, he experienced futility. By putting all his hope on finite concrete accomplishments, it was as though he polished the exterior, but neglected his interior.

    Perhaps it makes sense that the most despair would be felt by the most accomplished, if this feeling of futility is anything near universal. Maybe one has heard of, or been a person, who believed if more money was achieved, the right person was met, those five pounds lost, satisfaction would be found. Hope is pinned on the external because it still holds elusive promise before achievement. Those who have exhausted all outside options and still feel dissatisfaction, however, run into a different problem. It's as though they are stuck in a quagmire, unable to go back, but unsure of what moving forward means anymore.

    Thus, it seems like all before was mere folly. Maybe one feels like a fraud, thinking he was unique, but in the end, realizing there is "nothing new under the sun", and that "it has all been done before" (Eccl. 1:9). Maybe now the person feels like nothing more than a fake, a rip-off, a plagiarizer. This person feels the internal neglect that the Preacher experienced. It's a dark place, but one that needs to be confronted if one is to move forward.

    For even the Preacher underwent this trial, learning that wisdom over his condition increased his pain (Eccl. 1:18). The only way he could move forward with this was by increasing wisdom. Once one reaches this state, accomplishments may be nothing more than a means to running from the darkness. Only by realizing the futility of action, and by going inside oneself, can peace be sought while in this state.