Carried In At High Tide

Carried In At High Tide by J. Kuzmier --  photo by John B. at

She lays awake in her lover’s arms, long after he slips into a slumber where she can’t quite reach him. The room is nearly dark, but the moonlight that peers through the window offers enough light to let her eyes feast on the contour of his body. The seaside humidity has created a sheen of sweat on both of them, but the ocean’s breeze breathes a coolness upon her. It sustains a sweet comfort that she rests in, with him there, beside her.

She goes to the window, carefully extricating herself from her lover without waking him. The ocean is outside, extending into the forever of horizon. What it would be like for her to swim, far out in the horizon, to see how far she could go? Not so long ago, there would have been a time that this challenge to herself would provide all the excitement she needed. To better herself, beat herself at her own game. But tonight it all feels different. The ocean seems so vast, a place where ships journey, a place where a world so foreign lies underneath its bowels.

She could travel that unknown path into the abyss, but then she would desert the man she had come to love, so unexpectedly. He is with her here in the room. Unlike the ocean, she can hold him in her arms. But like the ocean, she can never fully contain him. In her mind, she holds the image of her touching him just moments before, memorizing the sensation of him. It lulls her into an illusion she nurtures, standing here only inches from him. A lover’s body could be so deceptive, she has discovered in the short time she has been with him.

Why? Because in a state of passion, it was easy to believe that by knowing every part of him that she could see, this somehow meant she knew everything about him. Logic told her this was impossible. There was more to everything below the surface, like it was with the ocean. Her heart didn’t like this boring lesson of facts, though. It felt like he was within her, even though he wasn’t even touching her, at this moment. This made her felt that the two of them had merged. It was an exclusive fusion of intimacy. In this state, everything was transparent between them, and only them. Like now, she felt the memory of his sensation so strongly, it felt like the physicality of his seduction of her was still happening. Yet she was apart from him, if only by inches. The physical distance did nothing to quell this strange sense of unity.

She had always, up until meeting him, convinced herself the passion of intimacy was an inconvenience that silly people invented to pass the time, like knitting or playing cards. She would hear the gossip of other girls, talking about the men they loved, the men they wanted. It always sounded ridiculous to her, a waste of time. But then she met him, and everything had changed. She was the silly one now, except now that she was in love, like them, there seemed to be nothing silly about it.

She looks at the lover who lies on the bed she has shared this night with. If she left to chart her own course, she would desert not only him, but the promise of passion he carried with him. Looking at him, she can still hear the waves crash. But it is as if she has been carried in at high tide, washing her ashore with her dreams and ambitions, carrying her to the rock that is he.

Draping herself along the bed, with the swish of the waves whispering softly, she feels as though she has swum up from that abyss in the sea’s underworld. Her lover stirs, just a little, and it inspires her to move closer to him, entwining herself with him. Nothing separates her from him at this moment. What does forever mean if a single second seems to define an entire person? She folds her head into his chest, and even asleep, he takes her in his arms.

When the tide comes in, waves cover the sand. If you stand on the shore when this happens, you can feel both of them. Even if the shore is fully submerged, at least for just a short time. It is as though for a moment, the two merge, shore and sea. This is what she feels now. She doesn’t know how long the tide will hold her here, but why should she be worried? She is here, with him, her lover. This moment is the only thing that matters to her, and this is where her life has meaning now.

2 Responses to “Carried In At High Tide”

  1. Brenda Costanzo says:

    It is beautiful,I only hope that the words in my book flow as smoothly as yours. if someone were reading this to me I close my eyes and could almost envision myself there. OR even better seeing this on the movie screen1